Dark Skin Is Not A Crime

Hey there!

I’ve been waiting to write about this specific topic for a while, and I am extremely thankful to Raven Tailor for giving me the platform to do so. I would also like to thank you, in advance, for taking the time out to read it. It is greatly appreciated. Before I begin, however, I would like too clearly state that this post is not aimed at bashing any skin colour. I am writing this to raise awareness about the problems dark-skin people, like myself, encounter every day and to empower them to embrace and love their dark-skin. I am completely aware of the different struggles, people may have gone through because of their skin colour and would love to hear all about them as well. I would also like this post to open a discussion, about what we women face because of our skin colour and what we as women can do to uplift one another- despite the colour of the next women’s skin. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

For centuries, the beauty of dark-skinned women has been lessened. Due to this, many women hate their dark-skin and may often feel uncomfortable in their beautiful skin. Some may even be afraid to talk about their skin because of how long society has bashed it down and engraved into their heads that having dark-skin is ugly. For years, I was ashamed of my dark-skin and I am here to share with you, the journey of how I came to reclaim the power of my skin colour and how the beauty of, “The black skin is not a badge of shame, but rather a glorious symbol of national greatness.”

For many years, I walked around feeling ashamed of my dark skin. I find it scary how young, we had to internalise that having dark-skin was a bad thing. While growing up, I often remember being so envious of all my light-skinned friends and asking God why I couldn’t have their skin. I was so ashamed of my skin, to a point where I was afraid of having my photos taken (even in a group) or being in the spotlight because I felt like everyone would notice my dark-skin and remind me that I was not beautiful or attractive. When I did have my photo taken or took a selfie, I would use filters to make my skin look as light as possible. I also hated my afro, because I felt like it made me look darker than I already was, and would relax it as much as possible. I even remember dreaming about the day I would have enough money to bleach my skin to make it lighter. Little things that people would say too, would really affect me, like walking into a make-up place and having them tell me that they didn’t have something for my complexion. I was unhappy and ashamed of my dark-skin and isolated myself as much as possible because of it.

There were numerous amounts of times when people would mention what beautiful skin I had, however, I never really believed it, because I thought people were trying to be nice. It was only last year that I finally embarked on my self-acceptance journey. I stumbled upon the Vogue magazine and read one of Lupita Nygong’o interviews. I loved this specific part, “I cannot run away from who I am and my complexion or the larger society and how they may view it”. It was upon reading this that I came to the realisation that I am who I Am! I didn’t need society to define what is considered beautiful or not. Just because society had laid down rules of what is beautiful, I didn’t have to agree with what they said. I began to wake up every morning, walked to the mirror and told myself repeatedly that my dark-skin is beautiful. It took a while to begin accepting and loving my skin. I will attest that sometimes, I fall into the trap of feeling inadequate because of my skin colour, but it’s in those moments that I remind myself of that specific quote and how much God loves me.

 

 

 

There may be dark-skin women reading this right now and may have related to some of the things I mentioned above. I would like to encourage you to love your skin! I know it isn’t always easy, trust me I know; however, I want you to know that having dark-skin is nothing to be ashamed of. Your dark-skin has never and will never be a blemish or a problem. Over time, I have learned that it all begins and ends with us. Over time, I hope you learn that straight hair is not the only acceptable hair type. That having dark-skin and kinky hair is nothing to be ashamed of. Embrace your natural heritage and your dark-skin…Because once you do, it’s a wrap, folks!

 

 

 

Once again, thank you so much for reading this. I would love to hear from you, so be sure to comment below.

 

 

Kind Regards,

Sarah Kgoitsimang

 

 

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How we can overcome in sadness

In Patricia Spears Jones poem May Perpetual Light Shine, she makes this proclamation;

 

We have encountered storms

Perfect in their drench and wreck

Each of us bears an ornament of grief

A ring, a notebook, a ticket torn, scar

It is how humans know their kind—

 

She caught my attention, not only because she is a black American poet, who is treading the hills that poets like Tony Morrison have paved a way, she caught my attention also because my story is like hers, my scars and sadness and joys are like hers, and like humanity too. “Each of us bears an ornament of grief,” how do we pull ourselves from the latch of deep sadness that sometimes renders us useless? How do we find hope when “We have encountered storms”, yet we need to still raise our children, we still need to show up to the job that pays the bills, when we still have to show up for the relationships we have formed? All very dark isn’t it, but maybe there is a point to the sadness.

I believe that part of the story of life is recognizing that the sadness exists and not try to hide away from it. Secondly, seeing that the sadness points to a place in our hearts that needs to heal or get resolved.

On this journey of life that we, humans, have accepted as our fate, we have this grand opportunity to look high above us and trust that our purpose on earth is brighter and more significant than we could ever imagine, that this pain we feel now achieves for us a truth that is needing to come forward, a truth that supersedes our understanding of its meaning.

Maybe we need to look past the hurts and find the strength in the pain or the sadness. Maybe the strength is the testimony that will bring liberation to countless other people. Maybe the strength is in overcoming something that will build character and reposition your identity. Maybe the strength is in knowing that many others have walked this road and connecting with them will build bridges that will open doors and opportunities. Maybe the pain or sadness is forcing you to get the courage to quit the job that stands in between you and your dream. Maybe you have asked for peace, but peace needs to be despite the storms that rage in life, so the opportunity now exists to practice the peace you have prayed for. Maybe you have asked for faith, well, faith looks like something, it looks like having it right now where you are.

This temporary state may need you to not ignore, it may need you to look inward to what it is its pointing to.

You can totally get through anything dear Queen. Stay encouraged.

 

Of course, if you have signs of depression it is important to see someone who can guide you. Mental health is important please visit http://www.sadag.org/.

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Inspiration

inspiration

ɪnspɪˈreɪʃ(ə)n

noun

  1. The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
  2. A sudden brilliant or timely idea.

 

The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something … fascinating. Our lives sometimes are waiting for that sudden AHA moment that will change our entire worldview and CAUSE us to write something that will win awards, paint something so magnificent it will sell for millions and so on. We wait for this something until it drops from the sky, and only then, will our lives change.

I find so often we wait until the inspiration comes, rarely do we go find inspiration, especially find inspiration where it matters, inside of ourselves. You see, no one has lived through your life, no one is more committed to changing your life as you are, and no one cares about you the way you should care for yourself. Inspiration sometimes is staring you right in the mirror, YOU darling dear human, are created to take one step in the direction of your purpose and change your own life.

I am not denying that this information age has opened countless platforms that can inspire, but I also believe in your history, that you have experienced so much stuff that can cause you to get inspired. Inspired to change, to take one more step towards healing, to repeat to yourself that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, to believe that you are a unique creation that is walking in your own lane. Define that something and write it out – “Because of X experience I want to achieve X and I will do this by X time,” put it on your wall, remember it every day and let it drown you in inspiration. Your life in all its colors has a lot more than you see, the next person’s life may seem brilliant from the outside but only because they embraced their process and decided that their process would help someone else.

So, find your AHA; look in the mirror, what is it you see?

You may be the greatest gift to your own life.

Live each day as if you were created only for that day

 

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